The Ship and Her Anchor
by Amendingpeace
Summary: This story explores heart break between two girls who have both been burnt by love and continue to put their hands on the hot stove. Jade West and Tori Vega learn eachother in ways they never thought possible. Warning: This story contains intense situations including previous self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or anything else affiliated with it.

Victorious Fanfic: The Ship and Her Anchor

"I didn't think it would happen like it did."

"No, you just didn't think. What did I tell you about talking to her, touching her, just being around her..?"

"You told me no."

**5 Months Earlier**

Tori Vega crouched to look beneath her bed as one Jade West loomed behind her, desperately trying to hide her grin. Their relationship was fairly new but, Tori insisted she get her a "week-a-versary" present. Now, here she was banging her head on, what seemed like, every two by four her bed was held together with.

"You need some help down there, Vega?" Jade stifled a laugh, but couldn't contain the pure sarcasm that fell from her lips. "It seems as though I'm going to be checking into a nursing home before I even get this present of mine."

Tori rolled her eyes and reached a little more to her right; her fingers grazed a box-like object and she smiled. She retrieved Jade's gift and stood back up, "Got it." Jade gave the choice of wrapping a once over and kissed Tori's cheek. She was a little taken aback and shyly glanced at her normally vicious girlfriend.

"Don't go all mushy on me, Tori. It was only props for the wrapping paper, black with knives, just how I like it." She winked at Tori and began to pull apart the paper. Her pale fingers were like fluorescent lights against the black and Tori began to sweat under the heat. All too soon, only a small white box was left. Jade hesitated and looked deeply into Tori's eyes. Tori nodded almost immediately at her and the present was opened.

"Tori, this, it's, it's amazing, you shouldn't have."

Tori let out the breath she had been holding and watched as Jade reached into the box. It wasn't a grand gesture of Tori's love and it wasn't too flashy, but the way the small necklace caught the light made Jade smile so much it hurt. It was a simple chain that wasn't too short, but the pendant was Jade's favorite part. Jade fingered the small silver boat and eyed it closely, as if it would actually sail away.

"I know it's only been a week and maybe you'll think I'm clingy or crazy, but when I saw it I knew. I just knew I had to get it for you. I know you don't like gaudy things unless they're black and especially necklaces because they're really heavy if they're too big and-"

"Tori, talk to me like a normal person."

"Jade West, I want to be your ship. I want to carry you through tidal waves and across oceans. If you'll have me, I will never stray course and I will always be the vessel that takes you to whatever you want in the world and in life. Right now, I hope, you'll want me."

Jade raised her eyes to Tori's lips, to her perfect cheek bones, and then, finally, her eyes. Her own lingered there and she took one, then two steps forward. She lifted her hand to Tori's gorgeous face and cupped her cheek. If a first kiss could say yes a thousand times, this one did.

Tori closed her eyes before Jade even kissed her. She felt like the fourth of July times a million as the fireworks went off in her head. Little did she know, Jade felt them too, exploding and soaring into the sky. It only lasted a minute, but it felt like hours for the two. Tori pulled away first and looked up at Jade.

"So that's a yes?"

Jade laughed and Tori smiled; she'd never heard a sound so beautiful in her life. It wasn't mocking and it didn't hurt. From that moment on, Tori knew she'd do anything to make Jade laugh like that. Jade leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek once more.

"It's definitely a yes, Vega. Don't go all Mushy McMushypants on me though. I have a reputation to uphold." Tori raised an eyebrow at her and gently got the necklace out of Jade's hand.

She spoke softly, "Turn around, Jade." Jade, not one to follow directions, raised her own eyebrows, but she complied. Tori smoothed Jade's black hair onto one shoulder and placed the necklace against her skin.

As soon as the cool chain touched her neck, she shivered. Tori adjusted the pendant and smoothed her hands down Jade's back and across her shoulders, taking in her soft skin. Jade turned around softly and reached out her arms; Tori allowed herself to be held. The small ship drifted down the slope of Jade's neck and rested between the two girls, the hug an anchor for the tiny vessel.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2

"Vega, you know me far too well."

Jade's hands rested against the wall, one on either side of Tori's head. Tori's face was stricken with faux fear as her girlfriend, once again, tried to take control. Jade caught Tori's chin between her fingers and held her face to the side. Just as she leant in to kiss Tori's neck, Tori slunk down and escaped Jade's grasp. She stuck her tongue out and made her way to "Music Appreciation."

"You just wait, Tori!" Jade's forehead found the wall in front of her and she closed her eyes. As if waves of electricity ran through her veins, she clutched at herself, eventually hugging her own body tight. She knew what was happening to her and she was scared, the same feeling she felt when Beck left flooded her mind and heart and she began to cry. Jade walked out to her car as she wiped away her tears; mascara ran down her cheeks, but she didn't care.

17 text messages, 6 calls, and 2 voicemails later, Tori pulled up to Jade's house. She texted once more to signal her arrival and exited her car. Her footsteps were heavy, but quick as she stepped up to the porch. The house was a light green and all of the blinds were closed; the flowers were watered and, in the way it was very pedestrian, it was the opposite of Tori's expectations. She checked the address once more and knocked on the wooden door.

A door slammed and Tori jumped. She played with her keys absentmindedly as she tried to keep her composure. The door swung open and in her vision stood a red-eyed Jade. Jade's frizzy hair fell loosely at her shoulders and she looked as if hell at personally visited her.

"Jade... Oh, Jade." Tori stepped into the house without an invitation to do so and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck. They stayed like that for a few moments before Jade reached around and closed the door. At last, darkness fell upon the girls.

"Where were you today? Why didn't you answer any of my calls?" Jade slinked over to the leather couch and sat down with an air of defeat. She raised her head to merely glance at Tori, but the glance turned into admiration as she noticed how beautiful Tori looked when worried. She smiled sadly and looked at her feet before she started what would be the hardest conversation of her life.

Jade and Tori found themselves in the former girl's room. They both occupied the bed as Jade showed Tori something she hadn't even thought of. When Tori had first enrolled in Hollywood Arts, she suspected Jade was gothic at least. She just assumed the black clothes and irritability were trendy things but, as Jade lifted her sleeves, Tori's entire mindset changed.

Scars ranging from two to three inches ran up and down the lengths of Jade's arms. The thick white lines were visible up to her elbow –where they ended. Tori gazed at them and carefully moved her fingers to touch them. Jade's arm flinched away and Tori's trance was broken. She looked longingly at the broken girl before her, the answer to every problem she ever had in life. Jade wasn't as hard as she thought and, slowly, she was breaking down the girl's walls.

"Tori, I'm so ashamed of them… I feel so dirty for what he made me do."

Tori's eyes snapped up to Jade's and she placed her hands on her girlfriend's cheeks. Jade leaned into the touch and began to cry softly.

"You are so beautiful, Jade. You are the light in my darkest hour and my anchor. Jade, you are the anchor to my ship. I will always carry your heaviest burdens. I don't think of you any less, in fact, I think more of you. You are so strong and even though I know you put up an amazing front around everyone else –you can't hide from me. I know you're hurting and I'm here for whatever you need from me. I'll always be here."

Jade sunk into Tori's grasp and they fell asleep like that, Tori's back against the headboard and Jade in her arms.


	3. Chapter 3 Trigger Warning

Chapter 3

"Tori… Tori…"

Tori stirred awake at hearing her name and smiled at the feisty girl asleep in her arms. Jade's mantra got louder as Tori remembered the events of the night before. Tori placed a careful thumb on Jade's hand and stroked firmly, but softly –just enough to wake the girl. Looking up at girlfriend, Jade smirked.

"Got me in your bed and didn't even buy me dinner? Sly, Vega." Tori laughed despite herself and then a frowned formed on her face. She stroked Jade's cheek slowly and then absentmindedly traced her bottom lip. Arousal formed in the pit of Jade's stomach and she sat up abruptly. Tori looked a little dazed, but otherwise okay.

"Do you want to talk about last night, Jade?"

Tori's words hit Jade's ears and she closed her eyes. Jade didn't want to panic, but the thought of sharing her secrets made her heart race. She stole a glance at Tori and noticed the gorgeous features of her face, but mostly the concern. A few seconds passed while she looked into Tori's eyes before she stood.

"You can't tell-"

Tori got up on her knees and cut her off with a kiss. It was slow and pleading and promising; Jade shivered and kissed Tori a little deeper before pulling away. Jade gave a faint nod and sucked in a breath.

"I'm sure you know how long Beck and I dated." Jade watched as the corners of Tori's mouth twitched at hearing about her ex. "Well, things were going amazing. He just understood and listened to me. When I felt down and Andre and Cat were putting me off I could always go to him and talk. It was about two years into our relationship when he started hitting me."

Tori's gasp wasn't missed by Jade, but she continued anyway.

"It got really bad until one night I told my parents; they didn't understand. They told me I was ruining a great thing and to just forgive and forget. My mom was the worst to me, saying I was making things up. Beck's punches got harder and I got more vulnerable; my walls were breaking down. The make-up wasn't hiding the bruises like it used to and about six months after the first hit was when it happened. Beck was waiting in my room when I walked in. It was the night we went to karaoke and after, we had decided to split up so we girls could hang out. He had this strange look on his face and before I knew it he was crying on my shoulder."

Jade paused for a while and Tori reached for her hand to stroke it, but to no avail. Jade pulled away and shook her head.

"I'm sorry; I just need a second."

Jade closed her eyes and began again.

"I didn't know how to comfort him and he just kept saying how sorry he was. He said it over and over. I remember him laying me down on my bed and pressing himself against me. He just –he kept saying how sorry he was, even as he pushed inside of me for the first time. After it was over he cleaned himself up and left. He didn't say sorry anymore; he didn't even look at me. He just left me there, Tori. I had never done that before and I started to shake. I ran to my bathroom and my razor was just sitting there. I remember my fingers bleeding as I tried to take it out. Tori, I lost myself that night. I lost myself in the pain and fear."

Tori waited for Jade's breathing to calm before standing up and wrapping her arms around Jade's waist. She squeezed tight as Jade cried. She smoothed a hand down her weary girlfriend's back and held her close. They stood like that for what seemed like hours before Jade finally pulled away.

"I love you, Tori. I love you so much. Please don't leave me; please don't hit me." Tori's eyes widened at the thought and she instinctively reached to cup Jade's face. Jade flinched slightly, but allowed Tori to touch her.

"I will never do such a thing, Jade. I love you more than anything in this world and I know that's big and we haven't been together long, but I want to help you in any way possible. I really need you and I can tell you need me. I won't ever hit you and I will never leave you like him. Everything is going to be okay, I promise."

Jade let herself smile slightly as Tori brought her closer again. Maybe, just maybe, everything would really be okay.


End file.
